If you're new around here, let me introduce you to someone very important in my life:

Crustopher.

Crustopher is our oven at the cafe.
Yes, he has a human-ish name.
Yes, it has a U.
No, it’s not a typo.
No, I will not be taking questions at this time.

Crustopher is the kind of oven who shows up every day, holds it together under pressure, and not-so-quietly makes magic happen… until one day he decides he’s tired, emotionally unavailable, and would like a little attention (same, Crustopher… same).

So Crustopher needed some love.
A few repairs.
A little spa day if you will.
A tiny “how are you really doing?” moment.

I call the service company.

And the service technician offers me an appointment so early it felt like an actual prank.

Now, it has to be on a day the cafe is closed because Crustopher will be pulled apart and not being able to bake buns would not bode well for our Google reviews. Trust me!

Which means: I have to get myself there… on time… in the morning… with kids… and the usual “Where is my —?” soundtrack playing in the background of my life.

And listen; when I say I knew it would be a stretch?​
I knew.

This was going to require:

• top notch morning logistics
• a workout squeezed in like a carry-on bag that has no business being a carry-on bag (you know what I'm talking about)
• lunches, and a forgotten permission slip from last month
• a shower with only the main bits seeing any suds at all

But my intuition was like: “Slow down. Don’t worry. It’s okay. Even if you’re a little late.”

And I remember thinking… is this foreshadowing?​
​(That’s the word, right? The thing that happens before the thing that happens? Anyway.)

Fast-forward.

I get there.

And guess what?

I’m late.
Not wildly late. Just… 10–15 minutes late. The kind of late where you’re still a good person, but also you’re aware of your own nonsense. (basically me every time)

I pull into the parking lot ready to apologize, unlock the door, and let Crustopher receive the care he deserves.

And the service truck is… not there.

No problem. He’s probably stuck behind a slow driver. (any Route 114 drivers reading this?)

I wait a few minutes.

Nothing.

So I call the company.

They put me through to the service manager.

I explain who I am and why I’m calling.

And he says:

“Oh yeah… he’s not coming. He got called away to another job.”

I blink. I say nothing. I process.

Because…

A call would have been nice?

A text?

A carrier pigeon?

A smoke signal?

Literally any form of “Hey, don’t rearrange your entire life and sprint out the door like a maniac today” would’ve been lovely.

So I say, very calmly (because I’m not a phone-yeller, okay? I’m not a “let me speak to your manager” kind of woman unless the manager is literally already on the phone):

“Totally understand things happen… but I rearranged my whole day to be here. It would’ve been really helpful to have a phone call.”

And Reader.

This is where the story takes a sharp left into the abyss of sideways.

He goes off on me.

He says things like:

“Well, people make mistakes!”​
And “This is what sometimes happens!”

And then—wait for it—he offers to call the tech and reroute him back to me.

So another customer can also be pi$$ed??

And I’m sitting there thinking...what is happening?

So I pleasantly, but with a very specific tone in my voice, say, “There's no need to reroute him. If someone else has an emergency, I don’t need to pull the technician away. I just wish someone had called me.”

And somehow—somehow—this man pulls a full verbal magician move and makes the whole thing feel like it’s my fault his technician didn’t show up.

Like… I’m the one who should’ve reminded them about their appointment.

Like I was supposed to call at 6:00am and say, “Hi yes, just checking that you’re still planning to do the job you scheduled with me.”

Now—sidebar—can we talk about the word gaslight for a second?

I swear this word gets used for everything.

And every time someone says it, I’m like, “Wait… what does that mean again?” and then I go look it up.

And then I’m still not fully convinced I understand it, and then I forget, and then the cycle repeats.

But I will tell you this with confidence:

If there was ever a moment where I thought, “Oh. OH. I think this is it. I think I’m being… gaslit? gaslighted? gaslitten?"… whatever the official grammar is…

THIS. WAS. IT.

Because the wildest part wasn’t the missed appointment.

It was that it was somehow my fault?

AND it was the chaos that came after it.

The way a simple plan —“Meet technician. Fix Crustopher.”— turned into a full-body stress response, a plot twist, and a morning I will never get back.

Now, whether you’re here for the cafe recipes, the Fitter @ 50 vibe, or both—here’s why I’m telling you this (besides the fact that Crustopher is iconic):

Because this is exactly what happens with our life and our health habits too.

We think we need the earliest appointment.

The strictest plan.

The most intense routine.

We book it like it’s the only way it will “count.”

And then real life shows up and says:

“Cute plan. Anyway… your kid needs something, your schedule changed, you're exhausted, and now you’re behind.”

And suddenly we’re sprinting around like maniacs trying to force perfection into a life that is… NOT DESIGNED FOR PERFECTION!

Then when it doesn’t go perfectly, we make it mean something about US.

“I’m inconsistent.”
“I can’t stick to anything.”
“I always mess it up.”
“I need a better plan.”

No, my friend.

You don’t need a more intense plan.

You need a plan that doesn’t collapse the moment the service truck doesn’t show up.

You need doable habits—the kind that work inside your real life.

Habits that don’t require you to:

• overhaul your entire schedule
• stress-sprint through your mornings
• obsess over details that don’t actually move the needle
• or treat every tiny disruption like proof you’ve “failed”

Because balance isn’t a cute concept.

It’s how we avoid living in chaos.

It’s how we get results without turning our lives into a full-time project.

It’s how we enjoy life consistently, without obsessing over the things that just don’t matter.

So today, here’s your reminder:

You don’t need to do everything.
You just need to do a few things… again and again and again… like someone who loves herself and wants her life to feel good.

(And if your plan requires more stress than Crustopher’s repair appointment… it might be time for a new plan.)

With so much love and respect,

Nat - your easily confused gaslight translator

P.S. Reply and tell me what part hit home. The “why am I sprinting for this?” energy, or the reminder that consistency beats perfection.

Bonus points if you’ve got any gaslighting tips… because apparently I’m still out here learning the vocab in real time.